A lot of people have been giving me that same look over the years whenever I was asked if I have a boyfriend.

Is there a brief response?

Vacation in China

I am a 24 years old woman who have been single my whole life. I have had crushes but either they are taken, hopelessly in love with another woman, or just not interested with me.

My friends always tell me that the top reason is that I am lovingly obsessed with a local actor.

Let’s rephrase the paragraph above.

 

I am a 24 years old fangirl who have been single my whole life. I have had crushes but I am mostly fascinated with Mr. Chinito. I usually spend hours online reading his posts in Instagram, Facebook,Twitter, browsing every photos/videos of him and all there is.

Oxford Dictionary describes a fangirl as “an obsessive female fan (usually of movies, comic books, or science fiction).”

Sinag, 2015

That is somewhat limited. 

I am obsessed with a person and his craft. That for I know is how it all started.

 

I met him one afternoon sometime in 2010 while strolling in the mall; he was there to promote his TV sitcom. In that instant, I knew this is different.

First photo with him during his first E-Day at Glorietta, May 2010

From then on, I always make time for his mall shows and other events. I even join his fan group; get to know a lot of his fans of which some has become like a family to me.

Celebrating 5 strong years of EDW

it's been years.

LONG YEARS

Don’t worry, it’s not an illness and even if it were I wouldn’t want to cure it 🙂

Just Dance Challenge, PS4 Launch at Glorietta activity center, January 2014

Do you fangirl over book authors or poets, TV series, kdrama?

Go ahead. It may be a different avenue but those die-hard NBA fans and VS Angels fans share more in common than you think. They make time to watch every game, every episode or even watch past videos over and over again. They even dress in team jerseys or team colors.

Fangirling is just loving something so much that you want to think about it all the time.

It took me a good long while until I stop worrying, and embrace my love for being fangirl.

#Tastethefeeling - A Valentine's Day Celebration with COCA-COLA PH, February 2016

I enjoy the simple get together with Mr. Chinito. I appreciate the little gestures; his smile and his genuine time for his fans.

With his parents 🙂
With his younger brother, Ice <3

Even if I have to take the LRT, PUJ or any sort of transportation just to make it on time for his movie screening and stand for hours in a long queue; I devote myself to support him for his milestones and the moment that I get to see him, it’s fulfilling and it always complete my day, my week, and even months. Then I long for another chance to see him again.

Block Screening - Once a Princess; a day after my birthday, August 2014

These only describe one thing. Not obsession, as Oxford would define it. These equate LOVE.

The feeling of fangirling is to love something deeply and unconditionally.

This love is special, because this is unrequited; one-sided. You give so much of yourself and receive nothing in return. But unlike those pathetic one-sided love stories, this one is fulfilling and exciting. I will never get tired giving in to this one-sided love.

I learned to be extra patient, determined, to work hard for your dreams, and more importantly I became the person that my parents would be proud of; a kind, honest and responsible person like Mr Chinito. 🙂

He is a 28 years old award-winning actor, model, swimmer, singer and dancer. Before he entered showbiz, he graduated from Naga Hope Christian School and pursued swimming career in Dela Salle University – Manila of which he was part of Philippine National Swimming team and has participated in the SEA Games and 2016 Asian Games. He is also a successful businessman.

It took me 5 years before I could finally say that he recognized me. It happened one time in our get together when he called me by first name 🙂

Being single allows me to be a full-time fan girl but I don’t see it as a hindrance to meeting my Mr. Right. I may be obsessed to Mr. Chinito but I am open to meeting new people. You see life is really tricky, 24 years and still single. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel incomplete; I have a loving family and friends, a budding career, and a great life ahead. It’s just that sometimes; you get really curious how it is like to have that special someone in your life.

Vacation with mom in China, 2016
Dinner with friends
At work with my client 🙂
My empowering birthday tradition - I go to a fine dining restaurant and date myself <3

The truth is if you can’t be happy alone, you won’t be happy either in a relationship.

I am continuously growing from these experiences and it widens my perception to each individual. The way we choose to see the world creates the world we see. Your life is a result of your decisions. Good or bad, it doesn’t matter as long as you learn from it.

I learn to embrace my own company and enjoy it actually. The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love.

 

I am a fangirl (always and forever) of Mr. Chinito but I am reserved for my Mr Right

To my future husband: I pray that you find God first, find yourself, then come find me 🙂

-L

 

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